"Who Is She?"

“Bill, this is my friend Sarah…”

“Oh? Nice to meet you.” Bill smiled and shook your hand. This felt weird for both of you.

“Sarah, this is my boyfriend, Bill.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you. She’s told me a lot about you, Bill.” You smiled, pointing at your ‘friend’.

“Hey, can I use your bathroom?”

“Yeah, of course. You know where it is?”

“Yep.” And with that, she left you with your long-term crush.

“Well… this is awkward,” you muttered, showing him a comfortable seat.

“Yeah… it was her idea…”

“Why are you even with her?”

“You think I want to be?”

“Don’t you?”

“No.” The hushed conversation became even quieter.

You just watched Bill’s features as he thought. You had known him for a very long time, and loved him for almost as long, but for some reason, your ‘friend’, who you did not like, thought that you two had never met. This girl was the kind of woman who wouldn’t listen to reason, stupidly so. She had the idea of introducing you to each other, and rather than argue with her, Bill and yourself took it as a challenge and a laugh to deceive her and play along.

“So why?”

“Why what?” Bill had obviously flown to a distant land in his mind in the short silence. Then he remembered, “Oh, her? I dunno really. I didn’t ask her out or anything. She just sort of announced that we were a couple. I had nothing to do with it.” You snorted and giggled.

“So when’s the wedding?” you asked sarcastically.

“Look, Sarah,” he seemed serious, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…”

He was cut off by ‘her’ shouting, “Well, you two seem to be getting along nicely!” (You never called her by given name, you felt that she was so fake and oblivious, that she didn’t deserve, and wouldn’t notice that lack of, name. You were right. She never noticed. You only ever called her, ‘she’, ‘her’ and sometimes ‘it’. She only had eyes for Bill.)

“Yeah, Bill’s a good catch…” you teased her.

“Yes he is!” She pinched his cheek, speaking in a childish voice that was pretty creepy. As she turned to you, you saw Bill pretend to gag, and had to hold in your laughter. Then, thankfully, there was a knock at the door and another couple of your friends finally turned up.

*

“That was a great evening, Sarah.”

“No problem.”

“Yeah, brilliant.”

“Thanks.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“’Course.”

“Bye then.”

“Yep, bye.” You smiled as you waved most of your friends away, strangely leaving you with the one person you loved and the one person you hated… the two people you started the night with.

“Pretty good movie, wasn’t it?” you asked Bill, trying to ignore the fact that ‘she’ was brushing down his shirt and messing with his hair.

“Great.” Bill answered, clearly frustrated with ‘her’. “Yeah, Sarah, it was really wonderful.” He no longer spoke through gritted teeth as he tried to assure you that you were not the problem. “Well, we’d better be off…” Bill smiled… wait, was that a sparkle in his eye? What was he thinking?

“Mm, okay… I’ll see you tomorrow?” You addressed only him.

“Yeah, ‘course.”

She ignored you and you ignored her. “See you then.”

“Bye.”

*

You closed the door behind them and sighed. You stand with your back to the door, thinking about Bill. You were just about to sulk about him and go to tidy any mess that may have been left, when you heard a knock on the door.

After recovering from the start it had given you, you peered through the little hole and saw that wonderful smile that sent you crazy, “Bill?”

“I’ve forgotten my…” he shoved past you and into the house.

“What the h…?”

He cut you off, “Sarah, she’s driving me crazy!” You smiled understandingly, and nodded. “But, you don’t get it!”

“I do… she’s insane, no offence…”

“None taken, but you still don’t understand.”

“So explain…” you took him to a chair and sat near him.

“The reason she drives me mad is… she doesn’t like you.”

“Well I know she doesn’t like me…”

“Aren’t you listening? That’s what has been bothering me all evening…”

“But why?” your heart raced.

“That’s just it… why?”

You felt empty; disappointed… does he not know?

“I’ll tell you why!” he declared. “Because guys take it personally when someone doesn’t like the woman he loves!”

“W-what?!”

“That’s right! I didn’t even realise, but, Sarah,” his voice was one of wonder and realisation, “I love you!”

All at once, you were both on your feet and in each others' arms. His lips crashed to yours and your whole bodies entwined as he held you close and kissed you with passion.

As you broke slowly apart, you see him smirk. “What?” you ask.

“Look,” he nodded toward the window, where you saw an irate soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend glowering at you both. You giggled. Now you came to think of it… did you ever even know her name?