"Shades Of Grey"

“Do you have a moment, Professor?” Jolene asked, through the classroom door. The university had been closed for over half an hour, but she knew Professor Henderson would still be there.

“Of course,” he answered slowly. He was unemotional, cold, distant, and completely enchanting.

Jolene slipped quietly in, with a vial of greyish-blue liquid.

“Did you want something, Professor Moore?”

“I've told you to call me Jolene,” Jolene blushed.

“Yet you continue to call me Professor Henderson..?”

“Okay, Charles. I just came in to ask your opinion on something.”

Henderson looked up from the essay he was reading, and gave a crooked half-smile. “Go on...”

“This,” Jolene held up the vial. “I can't quite get it to the right colour. It always comes out some shade of grey.”

“What is it?” Henderson asked, standing and striding towards her.

“Draught of Peace. It cures anxiety, and calms nerves,” Jolene continued, just in case Professor Henderson was unaware – although he should have been, he'd been a teacher at this magical university for several years longer than herself.

“Ah, I am familiar with it,” he nodded, looking more closely through a snake-encircled magnifying glass. “Have you made sure of your measurements?”

“Yes, but I've been experimenting a little.”

“What have you changed?”

“Well, instead of adding powdered newt, I ground it less finely. I thought that if I increased their potency, the draught would have a more profound affect on some of our more anxious students, nearing the time of exams.”

“You give this to students?”

“I will, if it works out. And I have two weeks to perfect it.”

“You will,” Henderson said quickly, turning away. “I think you may need to adjust the quantity of the moonstone, to counter your changes. That's what is causing the greying.”

“Thank you!” Jolene beamed, having hoped he would have such simple advice. “Can I try it out in here? You can keep an eye on it then, and let me know if you have any ideas?”

“You're a teacher at one of the best magical universities in the world, Jolene. I don't think you need my help.”

“But aren't you lonely?” Jolene asked, without being able to stop herself.

“I'm sorry?” Charles asked in disbelief. She had never been so forward before – she had always treated him more with respect and admiration, but while these things still remained, her longing to be near him had overridden her desire to keep things professional.

“You must be lonely down here, all alone, all day.”

“I go to the hall to eat, and this place is thriving with ignorant young people all day. How could I be lonely?”

“I love the students, but sometimes they aren't the best company,” Jolene admitted.

“I thought you were one of the professors that students could always go to?”

“I am, but that doesn't make them my best friends. It doesn't mean I want them all to be in the rest of my life.”

“Very well,” Henderson answered, returning to his desk. Jolene could have sworn she'd seen a small smile grace his thin lips.

“Do you have a silver cauldron I could borrow, please, Charles.”

He nodded, and stood again. Pointing his hand towards one of the cupboards, he silently charmed the cauldron onto the desk in front of Jolene.

“Thank you.”

Without further hesitation, Henderson also produced each of the ingredients Jolene would need, as well as the equipment, such as scales, a knife and pestle and mortar.

“Thank you,” Jolene repeated softly. She couldn't help but stand there, admiring Henderson's intelligent, effortless use of magic. His mind was one that she could never figure out. He had so much knowledge, and she knew that he was capable of so much more than even she had seen. Charles' eyes led into a much deeper being – someone that was so incredible, she knew she'd never be in his league.

“Is there a problem?” he asked, with a slight smirk.

Jolene snapped herself out of her thoughts, and realised that she'd been staring at him. “No,” she muttered quickly, setting up her things and starting on the potion. Then and there, she decided that she would have to do something about all of this. Her life, for the past several years, had been such a mixture of ups and downs, that she could hardly tell what she was feeling half of the time. She'd gotten the job at the school, which was such a good feeling, but equally she was filled with dread that she wasn't doing well enough. She still often got frustrated when students refused to concentrate, but she knew that that would pass in time. She'd made so many new friends, but with all her work, and her drive to create and change potions, she barely had time to see them... she felt that she was overwhelmed. She felt the same as this potion – monochrome, only shades of grey.

But the worst thing was, that she didn't really care about any of that. She worked with her friends, and she saw them often. She had successfully recreated an ancient potion that repelled certain magic. Her students were doing brilliantly, despite their lack of caring for the serious stuff. She was doing well, and everyone was proud of her. No, the one thing she did care about, was sat across the room, marking students' essays. Why couldn't he be straight with her? Why couldn't he see that she was making the effort? Why couldn't he just see what she was trying to be for him?

As Jolene ground the quills of owl feathers, she thought to herself. She decided – this had gone on for too long. Today was the day, one way or the other. She wondered briefly about whether she would have to transfer schools if this all went wrong, but then she swiftly pushed that thought aside. It didn't matter. She wanted to either have him, or at least have an answer, so she could get on with her life. He had the power to bring colour back into her life.

An hour or so passed in silence, as Jolene worked on her potion, as well as her plan. Charles simply read through several essays, tutting and groaning quietly to himself every now and then.

As darkness fell around the university, the room dimmed into an impressive orange. Henderson looked at the time, then up at Jolene.

“Am I right in thinking that your draught should be done soon?”

“Yeah,” Jolene smiled tiredly. So far, it had been the same as before.

“How is it coming along?”

“There's not much of a difference to the last one,” she sighed.

Henderson took a long look at the potion, before nodding to himself. He raised his hand, brushing Jolene's arm gently with his own as he increased the flame under the cauldron. “That should help,” he added, after muttering the incantation for the fire. “The larger pieces probably need more heat to dissolve into the liquid.”

Jolene felt the heat rising in her cheeks, too, as she thought quickly about her next move.

Henderson paced over towards one of his many colourful shelves, and pulled down a half-filled phial. He flicked his hand over it, and the red-purple liquid that once bubbled within, vanished. Meanwhile, Jolene had stirred the potion seven times, clockwise, and once anticlockwise. It started changing colour immediately.

“Here,” he said, pouring the now blue liquid into the phial. “This is thicker glass than yours. It should keep some of the heat in, even when the draught is ready, so it doesn't solidify.”

To thank him, Jolene pressed her hand against him arm, to turn his body to face hers. She looked into his usually cold eyes, to see a sparkle of amused curiosity, among something she couldn't quite define.

She pulled him into a hug, standing on tip-toes to rest her head on his shoulder. Her arms wrapped around his chest, and for a moment, they stayed like that.

“Thank you,” she softly whispered against his neck. The hairs there stood on end, as her cool breath brushed the surface. Suddenly she felt a mild, cautious touch on the small of her back, and Charles began to hug her back. Nothing was said, because neither one fully understood what was happening, but as Henderson's hug went from one hand, to two, they didn't need to say anything. His hands slid around her body and up her back, so he was holding her as tightly as she was holding him.

“What is this?” Charles asked lowly, after a while.

Jolene gave a short laugh, and moved to look into his eyes, “It's a hug.”

Henderson shook his head, and Jolene brushed hair from the side of his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. “I meant why are you hugging me?”

Jolene considered her answer carefully. “Because I'm grateful for all the things you've done for me. You've helped me with this, but also, with so much more. You've been such a comfort to me,” she added, still in his loose embrace, “showing me around the school, teaching me how to stay calm with the students. I owe you so much, and you're so brilliant.” There was a slight pause, as she watched nervously for any reaction. His face had barely changed, but he looked somewhat dumbfounded. “I admire you, Charles,” she whispered lightly. She placed her shaking hand upon his cheek, cupping his face. “More than you'll ever know.”

He closed his eyes again, and pressed against her hand. Jolene closed her eyes, too, and rested her head carefully upon his shoulder once more. Her thumb slowly stroked his skin, and she felt his arms tighten around her, pulling her body closer to his.

Jolene took a deep breath, and a content moan slipped her lips, almost soundlessly. But in the silence of the dungeon, there was no doubt that Charles had heard it. He squeezed her tenderly. She could feel that it had been a long time since someone had held him so lovingly. She took another deep breath, and upon realising that this had gone better than she could ever have imagined, she decided that she would take this all the way. She had to tell him exactly how she felt, because she couldn't bare to be this close now, for it just to go back to normal tomorrow.

She breathed against his neck, “I think I love you, Charles.”

She felt his breathing stop for a moment. The time she waited was the scariest of her life. She took her head guardedly away from his shoulder, and looked into his eyes. He stared at her, blank-faced for another moment or two.

Jolene's mind raced, thinking of other schools she could work at. Two weeks until exams – maybe she could last that long. Maybe she would just leave for the summer, and never return?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the tender touch of lips upon hers. She had been so worried that he wouldn't react, that she hadn't seen him lean in. His sensitive contact against her needing body and lips made her melt within his arms. She pressed back against him with all the effort she could muster, though she felt weak. Her hands slipped into his hair, and he gently bit her lower lip. She moaned into the kiss.

She knew that this kiss was the one she needed. The man she held so close now, would be the man she would hold close forever. She could finally see all the layers of the love of her life. She could see how caring and gentle he could be. His kiss was soft, and loving. Not at all what she would have expected.

They broke for air, and searched each others' eyes. It was like Jolene could see in colour again.

“Jolene,” he said her name for the first time, with warmth. Nothing else was said. She knew he'd had a difficult past with love, from the way he held her, so she knew that he would never be ready to say he loved her yet. But the way his eyes glinted in the light of the setting sun, the way he looked sentimentally down at her lips before kissing her again, she knew that he loved her... or someday could.